1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:02,006 --> 00:00:04,675 (logo chiming) 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:12,683 --> 00:00:17,021 (gunfire echoing in the distance) 5 00:00:23,736 --> 00:00:26,781 (melancholy music) 6 00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:34,247 (shells exploding) 7 00:00:44,090 --> 00:00:47,051 (shotguns firing) 8 00:00:50,221 --> 00:00:52,974 - Major, it's for you. - Major Meredith. Go ahead. 9 00:00:52,974 --> 00:00:54,892 - [Soldier] Major, we need you to fall back. 10 00:00:54,892 --> 00:00:57,520 Intelligence has reported that the enemy has set a trap. 11 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,355 Do not attack the enemy position, Major. 12 00:00:59,355 --> 00:01:02,233 (bomb explodes) 13 00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:06,404 (Major Meredith's ears ringing) 14 00:01:08,114 --> 00:01:11,367 (tense, discordant music) 15 00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:13,494 -Are you ready to have some fun? 16 00:01:13,494 --> 00:01:14,954 - [Party-Goers] Yeah! 17 00:01:14,954 --> 00:01:15,830 (upbeat music) 18 00:01:15,830 --> 00:01:17,415 ♪ If you're a cockatoo, then I am too ♪ 19 00:01:17,415 --> 00:01:19,875 ♪ Everybody sing the croc-a-doo ♪ 20 00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:22,753 ♪ Gonna rock this billy till it sings for you ♪ 21 00:01:22,753 --> 00:01:24,964 ♪ Cock-a-doodle, Aussie true blue ♪ 22 00:01:24,964 --> 00:01:26,257 - How good is he? 23 00:01:26,257 --> 00:01:27,675 - Do the galah! 24 00:01:29,427 --> 00:01:31,345 Play the guitar. 25 00:01:31,345 --> 00:01:32,930 Shoot for the stars! 26 00:01:34,098 --> 00:01:35,975 Cock-a-doodle was a true blue. 27 00:01:37,727 --> 00:01:41,397 (upbeat music continuing) 28 00:01:42,648 --> 00:01:45,901 (children screaming) 29 00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:48,613 (party-goers screaming in fear) 30 00:01:48,613 --> 00:01:51,532 - No! (shots firing) 31 00:01:51,532 --> 00:01:54,118 - Our boy was taken. It's all your fault. 32 00:01:54,118 --> 00:01:56,329 (sombre music) 33 00:01:56,329 --> 00:01:58,831 Being the world's best wobble board player 34 00:01:58,831 --> 00:02:01,125 won't bring our dead son back. 35 00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,252 - You don't know that! 36 00:02:03,252 --> 00:02:07,965 - I should have married a man with big muscles. (sobs) 37 00:02:10,635 --> 00:02:12,470 - Now there's a wobble you control! 38 00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:20,853 (gunfire echoing) (soldier screams in pain) 39 00:02:20,853 --> 00:02:22,521 Margaret! Margaret! 40 00:02:28,152 --> 00:02:29,612 Oh no. Not the suicide shed. 41 00:02:32,573 --> 00:02:35,534 (sombre music) 42 00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:39,372 No, no. (gasping in horror) 43 00:02:45,836 --> 00:02:47,838 - Major, what are the orders? 44 00:02:47,838 --> 00:02:51,175 - Full infantry attack. 45 00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:54,178 - But, sir- - Full infantry attack! 46 00:02:57,890 --> 00:03:01,394 (soldier blows whistle) 47 00:03:05,189 --> 00:03:08,275 (soldiers shouting) 48 00:03:09,694 --> 00:03:12,697 (shots firing) 49 00:03:12,697 --> 00:03:15,574 (stirring music) 50 00:03:27,336 --> 00:03:31,257 (soldiers screaming in pain) 51 00:03:33,092 --> 00:03:37,221 (soldier yelling continuously) 52 00:03:44,687 --> 00:03:47,231 (tense ringing music) 53 00:03:47,231 --> 00:03:49,984 (soldier gasps) 54 00:03:54,905 --> 00:03:58,743 (soldier breathing heavily) 55 00:04:08,961 --> 00:04:14,175 (emu growling) (tense music) 56 00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:20,723 (dramatic music) (gunshot echoing) 57 00:04:20,723 --> 00:04:25,936 (lively string music) (birds singing) 58 00:04:27,146 --> 00:04:28,022 - Ooh. 59 00:04:28,022 --> 00:04:32,443 I always get so darn nervous before these speeches, Wendy. 60 00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:33,819 - You'll be great, Prime Minister. 61 00:04:33,819 --> 00:04:36,405 Just read this word for word and you'll be fine. 62 00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:37,615 - Great. 63 00:04:37,615 --> 00:04:40,159 Now, I was thinking of adding a little joke near the top 64 00:04:40,159 --> 00:04:42,995 just to kind of get 'em on side, you know? 65 00:04:42,995 --> 00:04:44,121 - Please don't do that. 66 00:04:44,121 --> 00:04:47,124 Just read exactly what's written on the page. 67 00:04:47,124 --> 00:04:47,958 - Gotcha. 68 00:04:48,042 --> 00:04:50,586 No jokes. Unless I think of a good one. 69 00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,299 - We're on. - (clears throat) Yep. 70 00:04:58,511 --> 00:05:01,096 - And now for a formal announcement 71 00:05:01,096 --> 00:05:02,848 from the Honourable Harold Hall, 72 00:05:02,848 --> 00:05:04,350 Prime Minister of Australia. 73 00:05:09,855 --> 00:05:12,024 (mic feedback screeches) 74 00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:14,610 - (sighs) Good evening, my fellow Australians. 75 00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:19,156 It is with grave concern that I formally address you, 76 00:05:19,156 --> 00:05:21,325 the citizens of this great nation. 77 00:05:22,535 --> 00:05:24,662 But first, a good joke. 78 00:05:25,788 --> 00:05:28,332 So when I arrived here to give this broadcast, 79 00:05:28,332 --> 00:05:30,376 I needed to do a big piss. 80 00:05:31,377 --> 00:05:32,545 And I said to my assistant, 81 00:05:32,545 --> 00:05:35,798 "Can I please go to the little boys' room?" 82 00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:38,175 She led me into a bathroom and I said, 83 00:05:38,175 --> 00:05:42,429 "No. I meant a room filled with little boys. 84 00:05:45,057 --> 00:05:48,269 So you can imagine the sort of mischief 85 00:05:48,269 --> 00:05:49,854 I'd be getting up to in there. 86 00:05:52,231 --> 00:05:54,358 So now that we've all had a good laugh, 87 00:05:56,277 --> 00:05:59,071 I have some sombre news to bring you. 88 00:05:59,071 --> 00:06:02,908 Yesterday, after a routine emu cull, 89 00:06:02,908 --> 00:06:06,829 our special forces were by attacked by some rogue emus. 90 00:06:06,829 --> 00:06:07,830 (emotional music) 91 00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:10,749 And 37,000 young soldiers' lives 92 00:06:10,749 --> 00:06:13,377 were tragically cut short. 93 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,922 It brings me great sadness to say 94 00:06:16,922 --> 00:06:19,550 that the emus have declared war 95 00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:22,428 on the Commonwealth of Australia. 96 00:06:22,428 --> 00:06:25,681 But the spirit of Australia will not be broken. 97 00:06:26,599 --> 00:06:29,852 The emus will not be victorious. 98 00:06:29,852 --> 00:06:31,228 Emus are, 99 00:06:31,228 --> 00:06:32,104 God. (urine trickling) 100 00:06:32,104 --> 00:06:33,564 Oh God, I've pissed, I've pissed, 101 00:06:33,564 --> 00:06:34,732 I've pissed my pants. 102 00:06:34,732 --> 00:06:36,567 I'm pissing my pants right now. 103 00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:38,527 - Just stop. Just keep doing the speech. 104 00:06:38,527 --> 00:06:39,778 - [Prime Minister] Stop talking or keep pissing? 105 00:06:39,778 --> 00:06:40,654 - [Wendy] Stop talking about pissing! 106 00:06:40,654 --> 00:06:42,740 - What do I do? What do I do? - Back, back, back. 107 00:06:42,823 --> 00:06:43,699 - I, I, okay. Okay. 108 00:06:43,699 --> 00:06:45,409 Emu, emus will not be victorious. 109 00:06:45,409 --> 00:06:46,285 (urine trickling) 110 00:06:46,285 --> 00:06:48,329 Emus are cunning animals, 111 00:06:48,329 --> 00:06:50,247 but they are no match for the Austral- 112 00:06:50,247 --> 00:06:51,790 it's actually still coming out, Wendy. 113 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:53,208 I mean, what the (censored) am I meant to do? 114 00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:54,126 Wendy, I'm still pissing. 115 00:06:54,126 --> 00:06:55,002 Can you, can you, can you do something? 116 00:06:55,002 --> 00:06:56,295 Can you pinch it off? 117 00:06:56,378 --> 00:06:57,421 Can you please pinch it off? 118 00:06:57,421 --> 00:06:58,297 - I'm not gonna pinch it off, Harold. 119 00:06:58,297 --> 00:06:59,548 - I need you to pinch off my penis. 120 00:06:59,548 --> 00:07:00,466 - I'm not gonna pinch it off! 121 00:07:00,466 --> 00:07:01,425 You're getting piss all over me! 122 00:07:01,425 --> 00:07:04,053 - Oh my God, it's spraying out all over your shoes. 123 00:07:04,053 --> 00:07:04,929 - How is it, 124 00:07:04,929 --> 00:07:05,804 how is there so much of it? 125 00:07:05,804 --> 00:07:08,098 - I had a big drink, for God's sake. 126 00:07:09,558 --> 00:07:11,060 I think I can still save the speech. 127 00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:12,102 Let me do one more joke. 128 00:07:12,102 --> 00:07:13,437 - Oh my God. 129 00:07:13,437 --> 00:07:15,564 - [Prime Minister] Uh, so two strapping, 130 00:07:15,564 --> 00:07:16,440 young, handsome boys- 131 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,316 - [Wendy] No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. 132 00:07:17,316 --> 00:07:18,150 - [Prime Minister] Okay. 133 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:20,653 Please don't tell my fat wife about this. 134 00:07:20,653 --> 00:07:21,820 (feedback echoing) - Oh my God. 135 00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:24,239 - [Commander] You've really done it this time, Major! 136 00:07:24,323 --> 00:07:26,450 - Yeah, I know. I know. 137 00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:29,453 - 37,000 men slaughtered! 138 00:07:29,453 --> 00:07:33,749 All because you ignored a direct order not to attack. 139 00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:36,043 You are responsible for one of the worst blunders 140 00:07:36,043 --> 00:07:37,920 in this military's history. 141 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,964 You're lucky you killed World War I Hitler 142 00:07:39,964 --> 00:07:41,966 or I'd have you court-martialed. 143 00:07:41,966 --> 00:07:44,718 - Oh, you think you're so good? Never made a mistake? 144 00:07:48,138 --> 00:07:49,890 - I guess I can't argue with that. 145 00:07:52,476 --> 00:07:53,352 My apologies. 146 00:07:53,352 --> 00:07:55,604 - Yeah, I should think so. 147 00:07:55,604 --> 00:07:57,564 - All right, well, we need to regroup. 148 00:07:59,024 --> 00:08:00,818 I'll tell you what, I'm not gonna suspend you, 149 00:08:00,818 --> 00:08:03,862 but I am reassigning you to a new mission. 150 00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:04,738 - What is it? 151 00:08:08,409 --> 00:08:11,078 - I need a team to go deep into enemy territory. 152 00:08:11,078 --> 00:08:12,788 (tense music) 153 00:08:12,788 --> 00:08:14,623 These emus are smart. 154 00:08:18,168 --> 00:08:21,422 And they've had thousands of years to plan this war. 155 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:27,219 I need you to go behind enemy lives. 156 00:08:27,219 --> 00:08:31,223 To seek out and destroy the emus' leader, 157 00:08:35,019 --> 00:08:35,894 the Queen Emu. 158 00:08:39,106 --> 00:08:44,319 (thunder crashing) (tense music) 159 00:08:53,537 --> 00:08:56,999 (tense percussive music) 160 00:08:56,999 --> 00:08:58,125 - There aren't any side effects to this, 161 00:08:58,125 --> 00:08:59,043 are there, miss? 162 00:08:59,043 --> 00:09:00,210 - No. Shouldn't be. 163 00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:01,962 Now, just hold still. 164 00:09:06,550 --> 00:09:08,385 - How will we know when it kicks in? 165 00:09:10,846 --> 00:09:13,557 (insects buzzing) 166 00:09:13,557 --> 00:09:16,977 And I've been real into steam engines ever since. 167 00:09:16,977 --> 00:09:17,978 - Yeah? 168 00:09:17,978 --> 00:09:20,898 Well, before I got the vaccination, I was a white fella. 169 00:09:22,316 --> 00:09:23,859 - Really? 170 00:09:23,859 --> 00:09:27,112 - No, not really. How gullible are you? 171 00:09:28,864 --> 00:09:31,075 - You got some kind of problem there, mate? 172 00:09:31,075 --> 00:09:34,828 - Yeah, I do have a problem. A big problem with you. 173 00:09:34,828 --> 00:09:36,580 - And why is that? - I dunno. 174 00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:38,415 Um, oh, that's right. 175 00:09:38,415 --> 00:09:39,875 Because your great-grandfather 176 00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,627 tried to kill my great-grandfather. 177 00:09:41,627 --> 00:09:44,171 - Oh God. That was ages ago. 178 00:09:44,171 --> 00:09:45,881 - It was last week, bruv. 179 00:09:45,881 --> 00:09:47,674 - The past is the past. 180 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,176 - You handed him the gun. 181 00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:51,512 - Oi! Calm down, you two. 182 00:09:51,512 --> 00:09:53,180 While you're going on with this petty bickering 183 00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,891 about whose grandfather killed who, 184 00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:58,268 the emus are eating the farmers' crops. 185 00:09:58,268 --> 00:10:01,271 - Well handled, Major. - Thank you, Private. 186 00:10:01,271 --> 00:10:03,440 - So, since we're gonna be fighting 187 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,275 and probably dying together, 188 00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:07,653 perhaps we should get to know each other a little bit. 189 00:10:07,653 --> 00:10:08,695 I'll start. 190 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:09,571 My name's- 191 00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:11,448 - I'm gonna have to cut you off there, Private. 192 00:10:11,448 --> 00:10:12,366 I've made a new rule 193 00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:14,451 that I'm not gonna learn the names of any new recruits 194 00:10:14,451 --> 00:10:16,120 or get close to them in any way. 195 00:10:17,121 --> 00:10:17,996 - Why is that? 196 00:10:17,996 --> 00:10:22,000 - I lost 37,000 men under my command yesterday, Private. 197 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,503 I learned their full names and their birth dates. 198 00:10:24,503 --> 00:10:25,921 So I was a bit of a mess. 199 00:10:25,921 --> 00:10:28,423 - But you just met Archie today and you got to know him. 200 00:10:28,423 --> 00:10:30,050 - Aye, we met, connected. 201 00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:31,885 Had a good chat. Hit it off. 202 00:10:31,885 --> 00:10:33,387 You can't force these things. 203 00:10:37,141 --> 00:10:38,851 Anyway, Private, (scoffs) 204 00:10:38,851 --> 00:10:42,646 It's not like you just joined the war to get closer to me. 205 00:10:48,694 --> 00:10:51,822 (eerie music) 206 00:10:51,822 --> 00:10:55,200 - Father, you've been grieving about Graham 207 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,535 for 15 years now. 208 00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:00,581 Don't you think it's time to move on? 209 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,834 (glass shatters) 210 00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:08,422 - Damn it, Mary Sue. He was my only son. 211 00:11:08,422 --> 00:11:10,966 He was gonna grow up and be a war hero like me. 212 00:11:12,968 --> 00:11:14,761 You're a woman. (melancholy music) 213 00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,597 You wouldn't understand. 214 00:11:16,597 --> 00:11:19,016 - Losing him was hard on both of us. 215 00:11:19,016 --> 00:11:20,726 But we still have each other. 216 00:11:21,852 --> 00:11:23,937 - I wish the emus had taken you instead. 217 00:11:25,397 --> 00:11:27,441 - Please don't say that, Father. 218 00:11:27,441 --> 00:11:29,151 All I wanna do is make you proud. 219 00:11:30,694 --> 00:11:32,279 (glass shatters) 220 00:11:32,279 --> 00:11:35,324 - Well, you're not a man and you're not a war hero. 221 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:37,492 It's never gonna happen. 222 00:11:39,161 --> 00:11:40,746 Now go to the shops. 223 00:11:40,746 --> 00:11:42,039 Get me some more whiskey. 224 00:11:49,046 --> 00:11:53,133 - Of course, dad, whatever you need. Of course. 225 00:11:57,304 --> 00:11:59,389 (sighs) 226 00:12:02,142 --> 00:12:05,020 (sheep bleating) 227 00:12:10,317 --> 00:12:11,360 - Afternoon. 228 00:12:15,113 --> 00:12:15,989 -All right? 229 00:12:15,989 --> 00:12:19,076 - We're looking for an emu village. You seen it? 230 00:12:19,076 --> 00:12:20,535 - Emu village? 231 00:12:20,535 --> 00:12:22,537 Nah, not around here, mate. 232 00:12:22,537 --> 00:12:24,164 - Oh, not to worry. 233 00:12:24,164 --> 00:12:25,290 Have a wonderful day. 234 00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:28,543 - It's my sheep. 235 00:12:30,462 --> 00:12:31,546 - What? 236 00:12:31,546 --> 00:12:33,757 - This sheep. It's mine. 237 00:12:33,757 --> 00:12:34,675 I didn't steal it. 238 00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:37,886 - Okay. 239 00:12:39,638 --> 00:12:42,057 -All right. You are good. 240 00:12:42,057 --> 00:12:43,976 I was rooting that sheep, yeah, yeah. 241 00:12:45,394 --> 00:12:46,520 - We're gonna go away. 242 00:12:48,772 --> 00:12:50,691 - All that shit I said about the sheep was a lie. 243 00:12:50,691 --> 00:12:52,317 Promise you won't tell. 244 00:12:52,317 --> 00:12:54,486 I'll let you lot do whatever you want to me. 245 00:12:54,486 --> 00:12:56,280 No holds barred. 246 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,241 - We'll probably get going, but have a great afternoon. 247 00:12:59,241 --> 00:13:01,118 - Every day the coppers come to my house 248 00:13:01,118 --> 00:13:03,704 and try to stop me from rooting my jumbucks. 249 00:13:03,704 --> 00:13:05,080 But I'll show them. 250 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,291 - Cuz, I don't think you should be rooting sheep, eh? 251 00:13:07,291 --> 00:13:09,251 - They can't stop us rooting if we're dead. 252 00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,168 Come on, sheep. 253 00:13:12,087 --> 00:13:13,046 Suck it, idiots. 254 00:13:22,848 --> 00:13:25,267 - Right, well, let's make camp. 255 00:13:26,476 --> 00:13:27,811 It's getting dark anyway. 256 00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:35,527 - That bloke was rooting that sheep. 257 00:13:38,405 --> 00:13:42,242 - My God, these casualty figures. (sighs) 258 00:13:42,242 --> 00:13:43,994 This war may rest on the shoulders 259 00:13:43,994 --> 00:13:47,831 of four ragtag misfits deep in the bush. 260 00:13:47,831 --> 00:13:51,001 (tense music) 261 00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:52,502 Keep them safe, Aussie Jesus. 262 00:13:56,882 --> 00:14:00,010 (crickets chirping) 263 00:14:08,852 --> 00:14:10,854 (Mary Sue sighs) 264 00:14:10,854 --> 00:14:11,730 - I am sorry you're not allowed 265 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:12,939 to sit around our fire, Private. 266 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:15,067 But we got to know you, and- 267 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:15,942 - Yeah, I know. 268 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,152 You don't wanna get to know me 269 00:14:17,152 --> 00:14:19,446 because you don't wanna get upset when I die. 270 00:14:19,446 --> 00:14:20,614 You already said that. 271 00:14:27,871 --> 00:14:30,999 - Hey. 272 00:14:30,999 --> 00:14:32,459 Want some sheep? 273 00:14:32,459 --> 00:14:36,254 - Oh, no, thank you. I don't eat meat or meat products. 274 00:14:36,254 --> 00:14:38,340 - (spits loudly) What? 275 00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:40,425 What are you on about? No meat? 276 00:14:40,425 --> 00:14:43,470 - Or meat products. - Like milk? 277 00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:45,555 - Yeah. - Well, what about cheese? 278 00:14:45,555 --> 00:14:46,807 - No cheese. 279 00:14:46,807 --> 00:14:48,308 - Well, what if you got bitten by a snake 280 00:14:48,308 --> 00:14:49,476 and you needed an anti-venom 281 00:14:49,559 --> 00:14:51,895 and you only anti-venom available was from another snake 282 00:14:51,895 --> 00:14:53,772 and if you didn't have it, you'd die? 283 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,026 - I guess I would use the anti-venom to live. 284 00:14:58,026 --> 00:14:59,444 - Gotcha, fuckhead! 285 00:14:59,444 --> 00:15:01,321 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. 286 00:15:01,321 --> 00:15:03,198 All right? We're all in this together. 287 00:15:03,198 --> 00:15:06,451 The real enemy's out there. Yeah? 288 00:15:06,451 --> 00:15:08,078 Any of us could die tomorrow. 289 00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:11,039 You know, in my old platoon, 290 00:15:11,039 --> 00:15:14,000 we did this thing where we took our valuable items 291 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,044 and we put it in a satchel. 292 00:15:16,044 --> 00:15:20,006 And the last one left alive gets to keep everything. 293 00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:25,011 I'll start. I've got my lucky solid gold watch. 294 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,388 It's worth a lot of money. 295 00:15:28,849 --> 00:15:32,727 - This is a photo of my absolute favourite steam engine. 296 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:39,484 - Well, I, I don't think you're really getting it. 297 00:15:39,484 --> 00:15:42,612 You know, like I've put in a solid gold watch. 298 00:15:42,612 --> 00:15:43,947 That's worth something. 299 00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:45,115 That's just a photo. 300 00:15:46,158 --> 00:15:47,367 What, what have you got? 301 00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:49,411 - This is my most valuable possession. 302 00:15:50,996 --> 00:15:53,165 -Again, it's just another photo. 303 00:15:53,165 --> 00:15:56,084 Like, I've put in basically money. 304 00:15:56,084 --> 00:15:58,253 - But a steam engine is more valuable than a watch. 305 00:15:58,253 --> 00:16:01,506 - You didn't put a steam engine in the satchel, did you? 306 00:16:01,506 --> 00:16:02,966 You put a photo. 307 00:16:02,966 --> 00:16:05,177 - This is my most valuable possession. 308 00:16:05,177 --> 00:16:06,595 - Please tell me it's worth money. 309 00:16:06,595 --> 00:16:08,555 - My dead son's foreskin. - Oh, okay. 310 00:16:09,681 --> 00:16:12,017 - Most precious thing in the world. 311 00:16:12,017 --> 00:16:14,019 - What am I supposed to do with that? 312 00:16:14,019 --> 00:16:15,020 - Look at it. 313 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:16,271 Think about my dead son. 314 00:16:17,856 --> 00:16:19,900 - You know what? I hope I die first. 315 00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,444 I can't believe I've gotta put up with this fucker. 316 00:16:26,865 --> 00:16:32,078 (gentle music) (birds chirping) 317 00:16:42,214 --> 00:16:43,715 - Hmm. 318 00:16:43,715 --> 00:16:48,553 Oh, wow. 319 00:16:48,553 --> 00:16:49,429 Wow. 320 00:16:49,429 --> 00:16:51,431 What a beautiful picture you've drawn 321 00:16:51,431 --> 00:16:53,475 on your very first birthday today. 322 00:16:56,311 --> 00:17:00,148 We may be simple emu villagers, but our lives are good. 323 00:17:01,066 --> 00:17:03,860 Let's go live our lives. Come on. 324 00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:07,447 (gentle music continues) 325 00:17:10,909 --> 00:17:13,495 (tense music) 326 00:17:31,763 --> 00:17:35,225 - I'll always love you and I'll never betray you. 327 00:17:35,225 --> 00:17:36,685 - The good thing about our relationship 328 00:17:36,685 --> 00:17:39,271 is the loyalty that we have. 329 00:17:39,271 --> 00:17:40,564 - [Man] We have bad news, Private. 330 00:17:40,564 --> 00:17:43,858 Your wife's been identified as a spy working for the emus. 331 00:17:43,858 --> 00:17:46,403 She married you to gain access to our intel. 332 00:17:46,403 --> 00:17:49,197 - You're wrong. You're so wrong. 333 00:17:51,658 --> 00:17:56,913 (woman crying out in pain) (dramatic music) 334 00:18:01,084 --> 00:18:03,503 (baby crying) 335 00:18:03,503 --> 00:18:04,379 - No! 336 00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:14,681 (dramatic music) (emu baby chirping) 337 00:18:14,681 --> 00:18:18,310 (tense, discordant music) 338 00:18:29,404 --> 00:18:34,618 (flames roaring) (emus shrieking) 339 00:18:43,126 --> 00:18:44,294 I've seen war. 340 00:18:47,005 --> 00:18:48,840 I see war. 341 00:18:51,926 --> 00:18:53,178 I've seen men die. 342 00:18:57,057 --> 00:18:58,642 I've seen birds die. 343 00:19:00,435 --> 00:19:03,355 An evil lurks in these lands. 344 00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:08,652 Does good and bad exist in this hell? 345 00:19:08,652 --> 00:19:10,153 And which side are we on? 346 00:19:12,822 --> 00:19:15,659 - I'm scared, mama. I don't wanna die. 347 00:19:16,701 --> 00:19:18,453 - Don't worry, my child. 348 00:19:18,453 --> 00:19:19,829 It'll all be over soon. 349 00:19:21,206 --> 00:19:26,336 - Are we to become monsters in order to defeat a monster? 350 00:19:28,963 --> 00:19:32,676 How deep into this darkness must we venture? 351 00:19:38,973 --> 00:19:43,061 And what horrors are lurking there for us? 352 00:19:48,608 --> 00:19:52,195 (emu huts crashing down) 353 00:19:53,655 --> 00:19:56,533 (dramatic music) 354 00:20:00,578 --> 00:20:05,792 (mysterious music) (water dripping) 355 00:20:06,751 --> 00:20:10,547 - My queen, a letter has arrived from our new allies. 356 00:20:11,506 --> 00:20:14,092 - Very good, my little helper. 357 00:20:14,092 --> 00:20:17,429 - Will they be sending their army soon, Your Majesty? 358 00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,222 - Hmm. 359 00:20:19,222 --> 00:20:24,227 They've arranged for a surprise guest to join the battle. 360 00:20:26,354 --> 00:20:30,233 Apparently, he is already here. 361 00:20:30,233 --> 00:20:34,946 - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 362 00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:38,616 - Come to mama. 363 00:20:40,952 --> 00:20:43,663 Oh! (dramatic music) 364 00:20:43,663 --> 00:20:46,166 (man chuckling) 365 00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:49,586 Oh, that's right. My boy, my good boy. 366 00:20:51,838 --> 00:20:52,881 Oh, oh, yes. 367 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,804 - What are you guys gonna do after the war? 368 00:20:59,804 --> 00:21:01,097 - I wanna be the first person 369 00:21:01,097 --> 00:21:03,933 to drill a hole straight through Ayers Rock. 370 00:21:03,933 --> 00:21:06,686 I've got a feeling there's gold inside there. 371 00:21:06,686 --> 00:21:08,188 - It's Uluru. 372 00:21:08,188 --> 00:21:10,982 And if you drill through that, I'll drill through you. 373 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,693 - Do you have a daughter, Major? 374 00:21:13,693 --> 00:21:15,153 - Yeah, I do. 375 00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:17,822 But just between you and I, 376 00:21:17,822 --> 00:21:20,700 I wish the emus had killed her and not my son. 377 00:21:22,994 --> 00:21:25,538 - Well, I'm sure she loves you. 378 00:21:26,456 --> 00:21:29,542 Maybe you'd love her too if you got to know her. 379 00:21:29,542 --> 00:21:30,919 - Nah, no point. 380 00:21:33,546 --> 00:21:34,422 Right. 381 00:21:34,422 --> 00:21:35,715 Suspected enemy activity ahead. 382 00:21:35,715 --> 00:21:37,884 Men, prepare yourselves. 383 00:21:37,884 --> 00:21:40,470 (tense music) 384 00:21:42,305 --> 00:21:45,558 - Oh my God. Don't shoot! - Yeah, don't shoot. 385 00:21:48,061 --> 00:21:49,646 - Bloody hell. 386 00:21:49,646 --> 00:21:53,399 It's famous conjoined twin explorers Burke and Wills. 387 00:21:53,399 --> 00:21:55,151 - That's us! - That's us! 388 00:21:55,151 --> 00:21:56,611 - I love you blokes. 389 00:21:56,611 --> 00:21:59,697 You're my absolute favourite. 390 00:21:59,697 --> 00:22:03,117 - We can explore anything. We never get lost. 391 00:22:03,117 --> 00:22:04,661 - Oh, well then how come your hand 392 00:22:04,661 --> 00:22:06,329 got lost down my pants last night 393 00:22:06,329 --> 00:22:08,039 and jacked off my dick? 394 00:22:08,039 --> 00:22:09,582 - Wills! 395 00:22:09,666 --> 00:22:12,418 (both laughing) 396 00:22:18,132 --> 00:22:23,346 (Burke's head explodes) (Will shrieks) 397 00:22:25,723 --> 00:22:28,351 - Sniper! Take cover, now! (intense music) 398 00:22:52,834 --> 00:22:54,961 - [Narrator] The Black Prince of Spaghetti Street 399 00:22:54,961 --> 00:22:58,923 was the most decorated sniper in the Italian army 400 00:22:58,923 --> 00:23:00,258 during World War I. 401 00:23:00,258 --> 00:23:02,302 He was called the Black Prince of Spaghetti Street 402 00:23:02,302 --> 00:23:05,388 because legend has it the street where he grew up 403 00:23:05,388 --> 00:23:07,432 had restaurants that sold spaghetti. 404 00:23:07,432 --> 00:23:09,225 He was brought to Australia by Mussolini 405 00:23:09,225 --> 00:23:11,686 to help defeat the Australian army. 406 00:23:24,741 --> 00:23:27,201 (dramatic music) 407 00:23:27,201 --> 00:23:29,954 - Shit, did he just say Spaghetti street? 408 00:23:29,954 --> 00:23:32,248 No one's ever beaten him in a sniper battle. 409 00:23:33,207 --> 00:23:34,167 Someone was able to do that, 410 00:23:34,167 --> 00:23:35,793 they'd have my respect forever. 411 00:23:39,964 --> 00:23:42,842 (Mary Sue sighs) 412 00:23:45,011 --> 00:23:47,889 (dramatic music) 413 00:23:51,851 --> 00:23:54,479 (shot firing) 414 00:23:54,479 --> 00:23:57,190 (gentle music) 415 00:24:14,457 --> 00:24:16,751 - Did you, did you see that, Major? 416 00:24:16,751 --> 00:24:18,962 - What? No, no, actually I wasn't watching. 417 00:24:28,471 --> 00:24:31,557 (crickets chirping) 418 00:24:32,517 --> 00:24:34,060 According to the mercury levels, 419 00:24:34,060 --> 00:24:35,812 it's gonna be a real cold one tonight. 420 00:24:35,812 --> 00:24:38,147 So we're all gonna have to kiss for warmth. 421 00:24:38,147 --> 00:24:40,358 So you two, into the tent and get to it. 422 00:24:41,484 --> 00:24:42,485 - What? No way. - But, Major! 423 00:24:42,485 --> 00:24:45,154 - You two are gonna kiss for warmth. 424 00:24:45,154 --> 00:24:46,489 And that's an order! 425 00:24:47,532 --> 00:24:49,826 - I hate being in the Australian army. 426 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,371 - Rookie, you had a good day today. 427 00:24:53,371 --> 00:24:55,039 So you're gonna bunk in with me. 428 00:24:56,124 --> 00:24:57,333 - Okay, Major. 429 00:25:09,178 --> 00:25:10,930 - Is this warming you up? 430 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:12,682 -A little, I guess. 431 00:25:17,061 --> 00:25:19,939 (romantic music) 432 00:25:23,943 --> 00:25:28,740 - You know, you remind me quite a lot of my son, Private. 433 00:25:28,740 --> 00:25:32,118 - W-would you mind if I called you dad? 434 00:25:33,286 --> 00:25:36,289 - Yeah, I'd quite like that, Private. 435 00:25:36,289 --> 00:25:38,750 - I'd like that too. 436 00:25:38,750 --> 00:25:39,751 Dad. 437 00:25:39,751 --> 00:25:43,546 (romantic music continuing) 438 00:25:54,307 --> 00:25:57,143 (birds chirping) 439 00:26:10,698 --> 00:26:15,912 Oi! (energetic rock music) 440 00:26:17,371 --> 00:26:19,165 - Hey! That's my gun! 441 00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:25,421 (Jackie screaming) (shots firing) 442 00:26:35,181 --> 00:26:39,602 (energetic rock music continuing) 443 00:26:58,454 --> 00:26:59,330 (sinister music) 444 00:26:59,330 --> 00:27:03,167 - I'm gonna take my time with you, fuckhead. 445 00:27:04,627 --> 00:27:05,461 - Dad? 446 00:27:06,546 --> 00:27:07,421 - Son? 447 00:27:09,507 --> 00:27:11,759 (melancholy music) 448 00:27:11,759 --> 00:27:12,802 Okay, mate. 449 00:27:12,802 --> 00:27:16,013 Now you be good, and I'll see you next weekend, okay? 450 00:27:16,013 --> 00:27:18,558 - Dad, can I come stay with you? 451 00:27:18,558 --> 00:27:20,852 I hate staying with mom and Darryl. 452 00:27:20,852 --> 00:27:23,479 - Not now, son, but I promise I'm working on it. 453 00:27:27,817 --> 00:27:29,569 - We'll take it from here, Jackie. 454 00:27:29,569 --> 00:27:31,320 - Oh, fuck off, Darryl. 455 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:32,196 - What was that? 456 00:27:33,573 --> 00:27:34,407 - Nothing. 457 00:27:37,827 --> 00:27:40,663 - Sorry, daddy. I've chosen my side. 458 00:27:42,498 --> 00:27:44,959 (tense music) 459 00:27:44,959 --> 00:27:46,210 - What? Wait. 460 00:27:46,210 --> 00:27:47,086 No, no. 461 00:27:49,922 --> 00:27:50,798 No! 462 00:27:50,798 --> 00:27:54,260 (dramatic choral music) 463 00:28:01,976 --> 00:28:07,190 (gun cocking) (dramatic music) 464 00:28:14,822 --> 00:28:16,324 (crowd laughing) 465 00:28:16,324 --> 00:28:19,076 - I went on a date with Captain Cook the other day. 466 00:28:19,076 --> 00:28:21,412 More like me cook him dinner 467 00:28:21,412 --> 00:28:24,624 while he roots me with his tiny dick! 468 00:28:24,624 --> 00:28:27,501 (crowd laughing) 469 00:28:31,214 --> 00:28:32,965 Well, look who it is. 470 00:28:32,965 --> 00:28:33,883 Ladies and gentlemen, 471 00:28:33,883 --> 00:28:37,094 we do have a very special guest in tonight, 472 00:28:37,094 --> 00:28:38,763 the prime Minister himself, 473 00:28:38,763 --> 00:28:40,306 Mr. Harold Hall. 474 00:28:44,477 --> 00:28:46,979 I thought I smelled piss. 475 00:28:46,979 --> 00:28:48,814 (crowd laughing) 476 00:28:48,814 --> 00:28:51,817 Hey, here's my impression of Mr. Hall. 477 00:28:51,817 --> 00:28:55,947 "Ooh. Ooh. I'm the Prime Minister. 478 00:28:55,947 --> 00:28:58,115 I hope I don't piss myself again." 479 00:28:58,115 --> 00:29:01,744 (crowd laughing) 480 00:29:01,744 --> 00:29:03,913 "Yum, yum, yum. 481 00:29:03,913 --> 00:29:07,458 My tiny, bad dick is pissing right in my gob." 482 00:29:09,418 --> 00:29:11,045 Dirty little piss boy. Dirty little piss boy. 483 00:29:11,045 --> 00:29:11,921 Dirty little piss boy. 484 00:29:11,921 --> 00:29:13,547 Fuck you. Fuck you. 485 00:29:13,547 --> 00:29:14,799 Yeah. - Okay, none of that. 486 00:29:14,799 --> 00:29:16,300 - [Comedian] What is this? 487 00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:18,928 Oh, I was joking! - Come on. 488 00:29:18,928 --> 00:29:21,847 (prison gates slam shut) (inmates yelling) 489 00:29:21,847 --> 00:29:25,226 - [Prison Guard] Come on, get in there. 490 00:29:27,353 --> 00:29:29,772 - You know, you really are 491 00:29:29,772 --> 00:29:33,943 the most gifted impressionist I've ever seen. 492 00:29:34,944 --> 00:29:35,903 - You could have just come up 493 00:29:35,903 --> 00:29:38,030 for an autograph after the show, love. 494 00:29:39,865 --> 00:29:40,825 - One question. 495 00:29:43,828 --> 00:29:45,830 How did you know I said that? 496 00:29:47,206 --> 00:29:48,291 - Said what? 497 00:29:49,208 --> 00:29:51,669 - In your act, you said, 498 00:29:51,669 --> 00:29:54,255 "Yum, yum, my small bad dick 499 00:29:54,255 --> 00:29:56,590 is pissing into my own gob." 500 00:29:57,466 --> 00:29:58,968 I've only ever said that in private. 501 00:29:58,968 --> 00:30:01,846 How did you know I said that? 502 00:30:01,846 --> 00:30:04,849 (mysterious music) 503 00:30:09,228 --> 00:30:12,982 Nevertheless, it's a shame to see such talent go to waste, 504 00:30:13,899 --> 00:30:18,612 what with your execution for treason set for the morning. 505 00:30:18,612 --> 00:30:19,989 - What? You can't. 506 00:30:21,073 --> 00:30:25,870 - I'm Harold Hall, baby. I can do whatever I damn well want. 507 00:30:28,664 --> 00:30:30,082 - What do you want from me? 508 00:30:32,084 --> 00:30:34,628 (Prime Minister spits) 509 00:30:34,628 --> 00:30:36,213 - Yesterday we received word 510 00:30:36,213 --> 00:30:38,257 that a platoon are behind enemy lines, 511 00:30:38,257 --> 00:30:39,884 missing, presumed dead. 512 00:30:41,052 --> 00:30:43,429 We need a mole to go undercover 513 00:30:43,429 --> 00:30:46,015 and exploit the Queen Emu's only weakness, 514 00:30:46,015 --> 00:30:47,266 her horniness. 515 00:30:49,143 --> 00:30:52,438 Up until now, I had no idea how we were gonna do it. 516 00:30:52,438 --> 00:30:53,731 But sweetheart, 517 00:30:53,731 --> 00:30:57,151 if you are half as good at impersonating emus 518 00:30:57,151 --> 00:31:00,613 as you are at me pissing myself, 519 00:31:02,907 --> 00:31:05,076 you could be just what this country needs. 520 00:31:06,660 --> 00:31:09,872 - An emu impression is the hardest impression in the world. 521 00:31:10,873 --> 00:31:13,793 It's impossible to pull off. No one is that good. 522 00:31:14,710 --> 00:31:17,421 - Well, then, it looks like you have a choice to make, 523 00:31:17,421 --> 00:31:18,672 doesn't it, sweetheart? 524 00:31:19,590 --> 00:31:22,218 You either rise to the challenge 525 00:31:22,218 --> 00:31:24,387 or you fall to the hangman. 526 00:31:24,387 --> 00:31:26,972 (tense music) 527 00:31:28,140 --> 00:31:31,435 - Fine, I'll do it. 528 00:31:32,353 --> 00:31:33,771 But it's a suicide mission. 529 00:31:35,272 --> 00:31:37,316 - You start basic training at 0800. 530 00:31:38,317 --> 00:31:39,193 Guards. 531 00:31:42,696 --> 00:31:45,449 Good. She'll get us in the door. 532 00:31:46,826 --> 00:31:48,077 But now we need to find 533 00:31:48,077 --> 00:31:51,705 the sexiest and horniest human in this country 534 00:31:52,748 --> 00:31:55,251 to fuck the Queen Emu. 535 00:32:02,633 --> 00:32:06,262 - No, no. (sobbing) 536 00:32:06,262 --> 00:32:07,513 - I'm sorry, ma'am. 537 00:32:07,513 --> 00:32:10,641 - No, not my Joey! No! 538 00:32:10,641 --> 00:32:13,394 - Your husband wanted me to give you this. 539 00:32:13,394 --> 00:32:15,104 - No. No! 540 00:32:17,940 --> 00:32:20,359 (melancholy music) 541 00:32:20,359 --> 00:32:24,405 - [Joey] Dear wife, I love you, babe. But I'm dead. 542 00:32:24,405 --> 00:32:28,200 The best thing to do is move on and root my mate, Alan. 543 00:32:32,121 --> 00:32:33,497 - I'm Alan from the note. 544 00:32:35,124 --> 00:32:37,460 - My Joey wrote this? 545 00:32:37,460 --> 00:32:38,335 - Yeah. 546 00:32:39,503 --> 00:32:41,755 - I mean, I really don't want to, 547 00:32:44,550 --> 00:32:46,844 but if it's what my Joey wanted. 548 00:32:46,844 --> 00:32:47,678 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 549 00:32:47,678 --> 00:32:49,513 He wanted, he told me about 50 times 550 00:32:49,513 --> 00:32:50,764 during the war or whatever, 551 00:32:50,764 --> 00:32:53,517 and he wanted me to come in and do this. 552 00:32:53,517 --> 00:32:57,813 - The bedroom's this way. (sniffles) 553 00:32:57,813 --> 00:32:58,647 -All right. Come on, Alan. 554 00:32:58,647 --> 00:33:00,191 - Oh no. - We've told you about this. 555 00:33:00,191 --> 00:33:01,025 - Come on, please. 556 00:33:01,025 --> 00:33:04,278 I'm horny. (sobbing) I'm horny. 557 00:33:04,361 --> 00:33:05,404 I'm horny. I'm horny. 558 00:33:06,322 --> 00:33:08,073 I'm horny. 559 00:33:08,073 --> 00:33:10,659 Please, please. I need this. 560 00:33:10,659 --> 00:33:11,744 - Is he dead? 561 00:33:11,744 --> 00:33:13,412 - I need this. I need it. 562 00:33:13,412 --> 00:33:14,705 I'm horny. 563 00:33:14,705 --> 00:33:16,874 If this is about joining the war, 564 00:33:16,874 --> 00:33:18,876 I've already told you I don't want to. 565 00:33:18,876 --> 00:33:20,836 - Prime Minister wants to talk to you. 566 00:33:23,547 --> 00:33:26,383 (dramatic music) 567 00:33:28,010 --> 00:33:29,428 - You'll all be undercover. 568 00:33:29,428 --> 00:33:32,097 Our scientists have been studying emus and Italians 569 00:33:32,097 --> 00:33:34,892 24/7 since this war broke out. 570 00:33:34,892 --> 00:33:39,021 We're also utilising the latest in disguise technology. 571 00:33:39,021 --> 00:33:40,397 These disguises we have for you 572 00:33:40,397 --> 00:33:43,400 will make you completely indistinguishable from the enemy. 573 00:33:44,318 --> 00:33:46,529 Your mission is to infiltrate the emu base, 574 00:33:46,529 --> 00:33:49,698 find the Queen Emu so you can assassinate her. 575 00:33:50,699 --> 00:33:54,537 If you get caught, I'm afraid they will torture you. 576 00:33:55,746 --> 00:33:59,208 That is why our medic has fitted each of you 577 00:33:59,208 --> 00:34:02,920 with a cyanide tooth capsule in your back left molar. 578 00:34:03,963 --> 00:34:09,176 (cyanide capsule breaks) (gas hissing) 579 00:34:10,052 --> 00:34:11,595 God damn it. 580 00:34:11,595 --> 00:34:14,848 Please do not fiddle with the cyanide tooth. 581 00:34:14,848 --> 00:34:16,267 They're very temperamental. 582 00:34:17,810 --> 00:34:19,270 Let me tell you about the lair. 583 00:34:19,270 --> 00:34:20,938 The lair has an entrance. 584 00:34:20,938 --> 00:34:23,148 (cyanide capsule shatters) (gas hissing) 585 00:34:23,148 --> 00:34:24,441 What did I just say? 586 00:34:25,359 --> 00:34:27,695 Please do not fiddle with the cyanide tooth. 587 00:34:36,829 --> 00:34:38,581 This here is called a lithosphere. 588 00:34:39,957 --> 00:34:43,127 (cyanide capsules shattering) (gas hissing) 589 00:34:43,127 --> 00:34:45,754 Fuck! Fuck me! 590 00:34:47,256 --> 00:34:49,508 This fucking sucks! 591 00:34:51,385 --> 00:34:52,636 - Mine's not working. 592 00:34:56,390 --> 00:34:58,976 (tense music) 593 00:35:01,145 --> 00:35:02,563 - We are so dead. 594 00:35:13,490 --> 00:35:15,784 - Halt, who goes there? 595 00:35:17,161 --> 00:35:19,955 - (clears throat) Just a, a regular emu. 596 00:35:19,955 --> 00:35:22,333 And this is my Italian friend. 597 00:35:23,959 --> 00:35:27,129 We have some information regarding the enemy. 598 00:35:27,129 --> 00:35:29,465 - How do we know you are who you say you are? 599 00:35:32,176 --> 00:35:33,594 - Squawk. 600 00:35:39,808 --> 00:35:42,353 - Correct password. Welcome back, soldier. 601 00:35:44,938 --> 00:35:47,316 - Oh, actually, before you come in, 602 00:35:47,316 --> 00:35:50,527 we just need to run a quick Italian test 603 00:35:50,527 --> 00:35:52,613 to make sure that you are the real deal. 604 00:35:55,074 --> 00:35:56,325 - No worries. 605 00:35:57,618 --> 00:36:02,539 - So, us Italians, what do we like to eat? 606 00:36:02,539 --> 00:36:05,542 Do we like Nonna's spaghetti 607 00:36:05,542 --> 00:36:10,506 or like, sticks and rocks and, 608 00:36:10,506 --> 00:36:12,257 and things on the ground? 609 00:36:14,968 --> 00:36:17,554 (tense music) 610 00:36:23,310 --> 00:36:26,188 (sweat dripping) 611 00:36:39,326 --> 00:36:40,452 Do you need more time? 612 00:36:42,413 --> 00:36:43,580 - No. 613 00:36:43,580 --> 00:36:44,456 No. 614 00:36:45,457 --> 00:36:50,671 It's just that, that question is too easy 615 00:36:50,963 --> 00:36:54,633 for an advanced Italian like myself. 616 00:36:54,633 --> 00:36:57,636 - Ah, I, well, I love that Italian spirit. 617 00:36:57,636 --> 00:36:59,555 Okay, I'll, I'll ask you another one. 618 00:37:00,973 --> 00:37:06,145 Us Italians, what do we like to drink in the nighttime? 619 00:37:06,145 --> 00:37:10,691 Do we like drinking Italian wine 620 00:37:12,025 --> 00:37:14,319 or, um, 621 00:37:15,362 --> 00:37:18,574 dog shit that's been sitting in the sun? 622 00:37:23,912 --> 00:37:29,126 (tense music) (sweat dripping) 623 00:37:41,513 --> 00:37:42,389 - Now listen up, 624 00:37:42,389 --> 00:37:45,559 because this next piece of intel could save your life. 625 00:37:45,559 --> 00:37:47,936 Italians love to drink porno, 626 00:37:47,936 --> 00:37:50,481 porno, porno, porno, porno, 627 00:37:50,481 --> 00:37:51,315 porno, porno, porno, porno. 628 00:37:51,315 --> 00:37:56,487 - I'm too horny to listen. - Porn, porno, porno, porno. 629 00:37:59,531 --> 00:38:01,116 (triumphant music) - I got it. 630 00:38:01,116 --> 00:38:03,494 The answer is- (gunshot) 631 00:38:03,494 --> 00:38:05,829 (groans) 632 00:38:05,829 --> 00:38:06,705 Oh. 633 00:38:06,705 --> 00:38:07,581 Should have said wine. 634 00:38:09,625 --> 00:38:12,503 (dramatic music) 635 00:38:18,509 --> 00:38:21,303 (intense music) 636 00:38:22,763 --> 00:38:24,223 - Don't die on me now, bruv. 637 00:38:26,642 --> 00:38:27,601 Come on. 638 00:38:27,601 --> 00:38:28,811 Don't die on me, mate. 639 00:38:32,481 --> 00:38:33,315 Come back to me. 640 00:38:35,317 --> 00:38:36,151 Yeah? 641 00:38:36,151 --> 00:38:38,862 (breathing heavily) 642 00:38:38,862 --> 00:38:40,864 Yeah! 643 00:38:40,864 --> 00:38:42,324 - You saved me. 644 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,952 - Course I did, bruv. 645 00:38:44,952 --> 00:38:45,869 - If that had happened to you, 646 00:38:45,869 --> 00:38:48,622 I probably would've just kicked your body into the creek. 647 00:38:50,499 --> 00:38:53,335 - Good thing you were closer to the explosion, then, bruv. 648 00:38:54,253 --> 00:38:55,546 - You're all right, mate. 649 00:38:56,463 --> 00:38:59,383 (emotional music) 650 00:39:00,676 --> 00:39:01,552 (sinister music) 651 00:39:01,552 --> 00:39:02,719 - Your Highness, 652 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:03,554 we have an emu here 653 00:39:03,554 --> 00:39:06,640 with intel on the humans. 654 00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:11,144 - Well, look what we have here. 655 00:39:11,144 --> 00:39:14,690 Such a fine specimen. 656 00:39:16,900 --> 00:39:19,361 What information do you have, my dear? 657 00:39:20,529 --> 00:39:23,282 - The, the Prime Minister sent an agent 658 00:39:23,282 --> 00:39:25,367 in disguise as an Italian man 659 00:39:25,367 --> 00:39:27,911 to assassinate you, Your Majesty. 660 00:39:28,954 --> 00:39:30,455 I brought him in and, 661 00:39:30,455 --> 00:39:32,124 and I, I gave him to the Italian guards. 662 00:39:32,124 --> 00:39:34,543 - What if she's a spy for the humans, mummy? 663 00:39:38,922 --> 00:39:40,716 -Are you really, are you really gonna 664 00:39:40,716 --> 00:39:42,384 listen to this little pussy? 665 00:39:42,384 --> 00:39:47,097 "Oh, mum, I'm a little, I'm a little pussy." 666 00:39:51,518 --> 00:39:54,730 (Emu Queen laughing) 667 00:39:55,981 --> 00:40:01,194 - He is a little pussy. (chuckles) He is. 668 00:40:02,779 --> 00:40:05,198 - You are hilarious. 669 00:40:05,198 --> 00:40:07,868 You'll perform comedy tomorrow 670 00:40:07,868 --> 00:40:10,704 at the USO show for troops. 671 00:40:10,704 --> 00:40:14,166 - Oh, thanks. But I should probably sit this one out. 672 00:40:14,166 --> 00:40:16,418 - I must insist. 673 00:40:16,418 --> 00:40:19,963 All we have at the moment are the executions 674 00:40:19,963 --> 00:40:25,052 and the performance by this little pussy. 675 00:40:25,052 --> 00:40:27,846 (emus laughing) 676 00:40:31,725 --> 00:40:33,352 It's settled. 677 00:40:33,352 --> 00:40:34,770 You'll be performing. 678 00:40:35,729 --> 00:40:36,647 In the meantime, 679 00:40:36,647 --> 00:40:40,484 you can help Emu Boy with an interrogation. 680 00:40:40,484 --> 00:40:43,362 (sinister music) 681 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:47,115 - Come with me. 682 00:41:00,379 --> 00:41:02,756 (eerie music) 683 00:41:02,756 --> 00:41:06,343 Pick this one up last night. Haven't cracked him yet. 684 00:41:09,930 --> 00:41:11,765 - (gasping) Ned Kelly? 685 00:41:12,891 --> 00:41:14,267 - We're gonna figure out 686 00:41:14,267 --> 00:41:17,688 to put cameras in toilets. 687 00:41:17,688 --> 00:41:18,772 You know the, the cameras that we have, 688 00:41:18,772 --> 00:41:20,732 the tripods and the hood and the flash. 689 00:41:20,732 --> 00:41:22,484 We're gonna shrink that down. 690 00:41:22,484 --> 00:41:24,111 You know, it's, you know how fucking hard it is 691 00:41:24,111 --> 00:41:25,570 to fit one of those in the toilets? 692 00:41:25,570 --> 00:41:29,324 And if we can't do that, make the toilet glass. 693 00:41:29,324 --> 00:41:31,326 (crowd applauding) 694 00:41:31,326 --> 00:41:33,495 It's not that hard, Dr. Scientist. 695 00:41:33,578 --> 00:41:35,497 We can make the toilet glass 696 00:41:35,497 --> 00:41:36,665 and then the floor glass 697 00:41:36,665 --> 00:41:38,583 so we can sit in the chair underneath. 698 00:41:38,583 --> 00:41:40,043 Make it happen. 699 00:41:40,043 --> 00:41:45,257 (uplifting music) (crowd applauding) 700 00:41:47,509 --> 00:41:50,512 - Thank you, Mr. Kelly. - Nice legs. 701 00:41:50,512 --> 00:41:53,265 Who do I make it out to? - Gertrude. 702 00:41:54,766 --> 00:41:57,352 I'm your biggest fan, Mr. Kelly. 703 00:41:57,352 --> 00:42:00,313 Yeah, I just started doing standup comedy myself. 704 00:42:03,859 --> 00:42:04,901 - Good for you, kid. 705 00:42:06,653 --> 00:42:08,280 Never stop fighting the system. 706 00:42:09,406 --> 00:42:12,075 (gentle music) 707 00:42:16,163 --> 00:42:17,247 - You know the drill. 708 00:42:18,206 --> 00:42:20,834 He doesn't answer a question 709 00:42:20,834 --> 00:42:23,628 and you blast him full of electrodes. 710 00:42:24,755 --> 00:42:26,590 (tense music) 711 00:42:26,590 --> 00:42:31,803 Now, where do you humans keep your grain? 712 00:42:36,892 --> 00:42:39,227 - I never tell you filthy emus nothing. 713 00:42:42,898 --> 00:42:46,109 (Emu Boy chuckles) 714 00:42:46,109 --> 00:42:51,323 (electricity crackling) (Ned grunts in pain) 715 00:42:58,205 --> 00:43:01,875 Is that all you got? (panting) 716 00:43:01,875 --> 00:43:02,918 You have to kill me. 717 00:43:11,009 --> 00:43:12,344 - That can be arranged. 718 00:43:15,597 --> 00:43:18,433 (sinister music) 719 00:43:22,938 --> 00:43:28,151 Just pop this in here. 720 00:43:30,445 --> 00:43:34,699 (shot firing) (blood spurting) 721 00:43:34,699 --> 00:43:36,952 (Emu Boy laughing) 722 00:43:36,952 --> 00:43:39,663 (sombre music) 723 00:43:48,922 --> 00:43:51,216 - Dog shit isn't even a drink. 724 00:43:51,216 --> 00:43:53,343 - Are you all right, my boy? 725 00:43:53,343 --> 00:43:56,471 - Yeah, but I got caught trying to be a spy. 726 00:43:56,471 --> 00:43:58,181 How long have you been here for? 727 00:43:58,181 --> 00:43:59,808 - Not long. 728 00:43:59,808 --> 00:44:01,893 Apparently the emus are gonna execute us tomorrow 729 00:44:01,893 --> 00:44:04,563 at their USO show to entertain the troops. 730 00:44:04,563 --> 00:44:07,190 -Ah, that sucks. 731 00:44:07,190 --> 00:44:09,651 I got sent to kill an emu or something 732 00:44:09,651 --> 00:44:12,571 'cause I'm Australia's sexiest and horniest man. 733 00:44:13,822 --> 00:44:16,199 - Emus surrounded my church, brought me here. 734 00:44:17,409 --> 00:44:18,869 But maybe it's for a reason. 735 00:44:19,911 --> 00:44:21,037 To save your souls. 736 00:44:22,247 --> 00:44:24,583 Is there anything any of you wish to confess? 737 00:44:26,334 --> 00:44:28,461 - Yes. (gentle music) 738 00:44:28,461 --> 00:44:31,173 I don't wanna die without the truth about me being known. 739 00:44:32,257 --> 00:44:34,551 The truth is, Major, I'm actually your- 740 00:44:34,551 --> 00:44:38,138 - Did you say you're Australia's sexiest and horniest man? 741 00:44:38,138 --> 00:44:40,015 - Yeah. Why? 742 00:44:40,015 --> 00:44:41,975 - There might be hope for us yet. 743 00:44:41,975 --> 00:44:42,809 (stirring music) 744 00:44:42,809 --> 00:44:44,019 Private, do you remember how much heat we generated 745 00:44:44,019 --> 00:44:45,770 the other day we had a bit of a kiss in the tent? 746 00:44:45,770 --> 00:44:47,230 - Yeah? 747 00:44:47,230 --> 00:44:49,399 - Well, imagine how much heat we can generate 748 00:44:49,399 --> 00:44:51,318 if the two of us, the priest, 749 00:44:51,401 --> 00:44:53,528 and Australia's sexiest and horniest man 750 00:44:53,528 --> 00:44:55,739 went absolutely bonkers at each other. 751 00:44:57,699 --> 00:44:58,950 (inspiring music) 752 00:44:58,950 --> 00:44:59,826 - Oh no. 753 00:44:59,826 --> 00:45:00,744 If I have sex with Dad, 754 00:45:00,744 --> 00:45:03,580 this priest and Australia's sexiest and horniest man, 755 00:45:03,580 --> 00:45:05,624 they'll uncover my secret. 756 00:45:05,624 --> 00:45:07,709 I have to think of a really good excuse. 757 00:45:08,627 --> 00:45:10,170 (tense music) 758 00:45:10,170 --> 00:45:11,254 Oh, I can't. 759 00:45:13,006 --> 00:45:15,091 My dick exploded when I was a baby. 760 00:45:19,471 --> 00:45:20,764 And rats attacked it. 761 00:45:22,974 --> 00:45:25,602 It's more scabs than dick at this point. 762 00:45:27,604 --> 00:45:31,399 It's also quite infected. (sighs) 763 00:45:31,399 --> 00:45:34,152 My mouth and hands are too dirty to use as well. 764 00:45:34,152 --> 00:45:35,528 You know diseases. 765 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:38,156 - Oh, gross. 766 00:45:39,741 --> 00:45:41,243 Ugh. 767 00:45:41,243 --> 00:45:43,453 Never mind. You sit this one out, soldier. 768 00:45:43,453 --> 00:45:46,331 The rest of us, we're gonna have to work twice as hard. 769 00:45:47,958 --> 00:45:50,085 - This is completely against my religion. 770 00:45:51,503 --> 00:45:55,090 But as long as none of you tell God, I'm in. 771 00:45:55,090 --> 00:45:55,966 (stirring music continuing) 772 00:45:55,966 --> 00:45:58,176 - You idiots wanna generate some heat? 773 00:45:58,176 --> 00:46:00,303 - I'm Australia's horniest man. 774 00:46:00,303 --> 00:46:03,765 I'll burn a hole in this place hotter than the goddamn sun. 775 00:46:04,808 --> 00:46:06,559 Now show me them butts. 776 00:46:13,984 --> 00:46:16,653 - Mate, I could really go for a feed right now. 777 00:46:16,653 --> 00:46:19,948 - Yeah, we should get some bush tucker, bruv. 778 00:46:19,948 --> 00:46:24,077 - Archie, I wanna tell you a secret. 779 00:46:24,077 --> 00:46:25,412 I don't tell many people this, 780 00:46:25,412 --> 00:46:28,248 but I actually love to eat food. 781 00:46:28,248 --> 00:46:32,669 So if you're talking about getting some food, I'm so keen. 782 00:46:32,669 --> 00:46:33,586 - I am, bruv. 783 00:46:33,586 --> 00:46:35,046 My mum's from around this way. 784 00:46:35,046 --> 00:46:38,049 There's food everywhere if you know where to look. 785 00:46:38,049 --> 00:46:41,177 (upbeat rock music) 786 00:46:55,734 --> 00:46:59,487 (droning didgeridoo music) 787 00:47:20,675 --> 00:47:22,218 ♪ Two big boys ♪ 788 00:47:22,218 --> 00:47:24,846 ♪ We're the best of friends ♪ 789 00:47:24,846 --> 00:47:26,931 ♪ With two big boys ♪ 790 00:47:26,931 --> 00:47:29,225 ♪ Friendship never ends ♪ 791 00:47:29,225 --> 00:47:31,227 ♪ We're two big boys ♪ 792 00:47:31,227 --> 00:47:33,855 ♪ We're the best of friends ♪ 793 00:47:33,855 --> 00:47:35,607 ♪ Two big boys ♪ 794 00:47:35,607 --> 00:47:37,901 ♪ Our friendship never ends ♪ 795 00:47:37,901 --> 00:47:41,112 ♪ Yeah, two big boys ♪ 796 00:47:52,624 --> 00:47:55,460 - You're a natural at finding this bush tucker, Archie. 797 00:47:55,460 --> 00:47:57,045 This tastes so good. 798 00:47:57,045 --> 00:47:58,421 - Thanks, Brian. 799 00:47:58,421 --> 00:48:00,673 You're good at eating it too. 800 00:48:00,673 --> 00:48:02,342 - Thank you. 801 00:48:02,342 --> 00:48:04,052 Not many people notice that. 802 00:48:09,557 --> 00:48:10,433 (emotional music) 803 00:48:10,433 --> 00:48:12,519 Archie, I'm sorry about what happened 804 00:48:12,519 --> 00:48:16,231 between my great-grandfather and your great-grandfather. 805 00:48:16,231 --> 00:48:18,942 You're a good soldier and you're a good man. 806 00:48:23,071 --> 00:48:24,447 - I appreciate that, bruv. 807 00:48:28,535 --> 00:48:29,411 - Friends? 808 00:48:33,039 --> 00:48:33,915 - Friends. 809 00:48:36,584 --> 00:48:40,463 (emotional music continuing) 810 00:48:44,092 --> 00:48:48,430 (Alan, priest and Major groaning) 811 00:48:57,480 --> 00:49:01,025 (flames crackling) (groaning continuing) 812 00:49:01,025 --> 00:49:02,277 - I think it's working. 813 00:49:02,277 --> 00:49:03,236 Keep going. 814 00:49:04,946 --> 00:49:07,949 (triumphant music) 815 00:49:11,744 --> 00:49:15,081 (groaning continuing) 816 00:49:30,346 --> 00:49:31,806 (triumphant music continuing) 817 00:49:31,806 --> 00:49:33,099 - We did it! You did it! 818 00:49:33,099 --> 00:49:33,975 - Yeah! 819 00:49:37,228 --> 00:49:38,897 - Let's get the hell outta here. 820 00:49:41,900 --> 00:49:42,734 - Come on, Alan. 821 00:49:44,110 --> 00:49:46,905 - I'll be done on a sec. I'll catch up with you later. 822 00:49:48,573 --> 00:49:50,783 - You two go on. I'll wait with him. 823 00:50:01,878 --> 00:50:07,091 (gun cocking) (tense music) 824 00:50:11,346 --> 00:50:14,224 (crowd cheering) 825 00:50:23,733 --> 00:50:28,947 - Woo! Welcome to the 1932 Emu USO show. 826 00:50:30,532 --> 00:50:32,408 Can I get a "Death to all humans"? 827 00:50:33,535 --> 00:50:36,079 - [Emus] Death to all humans. 828 00:50:37,956 --> 00:50:40,416 - Bloody hell. They really hate us, don't they? 829 00:50:40,416 --> 00:50:42,418 What do we ever do to them? 830 00:50:42,418 --> 00:50:44,754 - Now it's time 831 00:50:44,754 --> 00:50:48,967 for something you're all gonna enjoy. 832 00:50:48,967 --> 00:50:51,928 The erotic emu, Miss December! 833 00:50:55,557 --> 00:50:56,432 (chuckles) (crowd cheering) 834 00:50:56,432 --> 00:50:57,308 Miss June. 835 00:51:01,271 --> 00:51:06,484 And the erotic emu of the year is (grunting) 836 00:51:06,484 --> 00:51:10,238 Miss (speaking gibberish). 837 00:51:11,614 --> 00:51:13,283 - Miss December is the sexiest. 838 00:51:13,283 --> 00:51:15,076 But Miss August is the hottest. 839 00:51:18,621 --> 00:51:19,497 (upbeat pop music) 840 00:51:19,497 --> 00:51:20,373 - Wow. 841 00:51:20,373 --> 00:51:23,084 Now, we got a real treat for you guys tonight. 842 00:51:23,084 --> 00:51:26,879 The execution of a human spy. Take it away. 843 00:51:26,879 --> 00:51:29,674 (emus cheering) 844 00:51:42,687 --> 00:51:45,273 (tense music) 845 00:51:55,825 --> 00:51:58,328 (gun firing) 846 00:52:08,463 --> 00:52:11,507 (mysterious music) 847 00:52:24,354 --> 00:52:27,398 (upbeat pop music) 848 00:52:34,197 --> 00:52:36,824 (stirring choral music) - Come, Alan, my son. 849 00:52:36,824 --> 00:52:39,243 The kingdom of heaven awaits you. 850 00:52:40,411 --> 00:52:42,288 - This is my heaven. 851 00:52:42,288 --> 00:52:46,167 (upbeat pop music resuming) 852 00:52:47,752 --> 00:52:49,629 - Seeing something like that 853 00:52:49,629 --> 00:52:53,007 makes me wonder what the point of any of this is. 854 00:52:53,007 --> 00:52:54,842 - You know, I had a threesome with that guy 855 00:52:54,842 --> 00:52:56,469 and a priest yesterday. 856 00:52:56,469 --> 00:52:58,680 - Major! - Private! 857 00:52:58,680 --> 00:52:59,889 - We thought you were dead. 858 00:52:59,889 --> 00:53:01,724 - Not so lucky, soldier. 859 00:53:01,724 --> 00:53:03,559 You two seem to have patched things up? 860 00:53:03,559 --> 00:53:05,895 - We're best friends. 861 00:53:05,895 --> 00:53:09,023 - I thought we were shaping up to be best friends. 862 00:53:09,107 --> 00:53:11,067 - What we've got is deeper than that. 863 00:53:11,067 --> 00:53:12,485 We're, we're like family. 864 00:53:13,486 --> 00:53:16,864 It's like a loving father-daughter type dynamic. 865 00:53:17,949 --> 00:53:19,075 - Yeah. 866 00:53:19,075 --> 00:53:21,202 Always wanted a relationship like that. 867 00:53:21,202 --> 00:53:22,578 - You're the loving father. 868 00:53:22,578 --> 00:53:23,454 - Yeah. 869 00:53:23,454 --> 00:53:24,914 - And I'm the daughter. - Yeah. Yeah. 870 00:53:24,914 --> 00:53:26,207 It's a lot less yammering. 871 00:53:26,207 --> 00:53:28,501 - (chuckling) Yeah. 872 00:53:28,501 --> 00:53:30,878 - Yeah, women, they're always mucking around 873 00:53:30,878 --> 00:53:32,463 and getting into mischief 874 00:53:32,463 --> 00:53:35,550 and you know, that sort of thing there. 875 00:53:44,058 --> 00:53:45,226 (crowd cheering) 876 00:53:45,226 --> 00:53:46,978 - Now it's time for one of our very own emus 877 00:53:46,978 --> 00:53:49,021 to do standup comedy. 878 00:53:49,021 --> 00:53:52,233 (crowd cheering) 879 00:53:52,233 --> 00:53:53,109 All right, you're up. 880 00:53:53,109 --> 00:53:54,235 But don't do any of that fucking 881 00:53:54,235 --> 00:53:56,946 "Emu Boy's a little pussy" stuff, okay? 882 00:53:56,946 --> 00:53:59,282 - Yeah, I won't. I promise. - Good. 883 00:54:02,660 --> 00:54:04,537 - Give it up for Emu Boy. 884 00:54:04,537 --> 00:54:08,458 What a little pussy. (crowd laughing) 885 00:54:12,962 --> 00:54:14,839 He fucking sucks. 886 00:54:15,882 --> 00:54:17,633 - That's not even funny. That's not even a joke. 887 00:54:17,633 --> 00:54:18,468 Let's not... 888 00:54:18,468 --> 00:54:22,138 - She's a star. (crowd cheering) 889 00:54:25,683 --> 00:54:27,018 (stirring music) - I'm proud of you, Gertrude. 890 00:54:30,354 --> 00:54:35,276 - After the show, have her brought to my private chambers. 891 00:54:39,197 --> 00:54:40,531 - That was bad. 892 00:54:40,531 --> 00:54:43,951 I think we can all agree that that was not funny. 893 00:54:43,951 --> 00:54:46,287 But now it's time for something that is good. 894 00:54:47,455 --> 00:54:49,332 I'm gonna sing a song. 895 00:54:49,332 --> 00:54:50,166 Come on. 896 00:54:52,627 --> 00:54:54,670 (crowd booing) 897 00:54:54,670 --> 00:54:55,505 - Oh, no. 898 00:54:55,505 --> 00:54:58,674 He does this same song every year. It sucks. 899 00:54:58,674 --> 00:55:01,135 It sucked the first year. It's gonna suck this year. 900 00:55:01,135 --> 00:55:03,095 - If you're a cockatoo, then I am too. 901 00:55:03,095 --> 00:55:03,971 Everybody sing. 902 00:55:03,971 --> 00:55:04,972 There's a crocadoo. 903 00:55:04,972 --> 00:55:07,600 Gonna rub this belly till it sings for you! 904 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:08,976 Cock-a-doodle, Aussie true blue. 905 00:55:08,976 --> 00:55:10,520 - Boo. 906 00:55:10,603 --> 00:55:12,438 You are not good. 907 00:55:12,438 --> 00:55:14,690 (crowd booing) 908 00:55:14,690 --> 00:55:17,401 (upbeat music) 909 00:55:25,952 --> 00:55:30,248 (upbeat music intensifying) 910 00:55:30,248 --> 00:55:33,751 - Oh my God, this song fucking sucks. 911 00:55:33,751 --> 00:55:34,877 And Emu Boy's Graham. 912 00:55:34,877 --> 00:55:37,755 - Cock-a-doodle, Aussie true blue! 913 00:55:42,927 --> 00:55:46,806 - Boo! You suck. (crowd booing) 914 00:55:46,806 --> 00:55:50,101 - Ooh, that was the longest piss in the history of warfare. 915 00:55:50,101 --> 00:55:52,353 What have I missed? 916 00:55:52,353 --> 00:55:54,021 - Major, I have to tell you something. 917 00:55:54,021 --> 00:55:56,858 - Yes, Private? - Well, to tell you, 918 00:55:56,858 --> 00:55:58,901 I first have to tell you something about myself. 919 00:55:58,901 --> 00:56:01,362 - No, I said no sharing of personal information 920 00:56:01,362 --> 00:56:03,030 under any circumstance. 921 00:56:03,030 --> 00:56:03,906 - But... 922 00:56:06,617 --> 00:56:08,536 (scoffs) 923 00:56:08,536 --> 00:56:09,412 (dramatic music) 924 00:56:09,412 --> 00:56:10,288 It's me, Mary Sue. 925 00:56:13,291 --> 00:56:14,542 Mary Sue, your daughter? 926 00:56:15,751 --> 00:56:16,711 - Daughter? 927 00:56:19,005 --> 00:56:20,381 Tsk... daughter? 928 00:56:23,759 --> 00:56:26,178 (dramatic music) 929 00:56:26,178 --> 00:56:27,138 Daughter... 930 00:56:29,599 --> 00:56:31,100 - Did I earn your respect? 931 00:56:34,145 --> 00:56:37,690 (Major Meredith choking) 932 00:56:40,735 --> 00:56:41,652 Dad? 933 00:56:41,652 --> 00:56:43,279 - He's not okay. 934 00:56:43,279 --> 00:56:44,155 - Dad! 935 00:56:47,533 --> 00:56:50,286 (sensual music) 936 00:57:11,098 --> 00:57:13,809 - There you are, my dear. Leave us. 937 00:57:19,190 --> 00:57:21,609 Welcome, my dear. 938 00:57:21,609 --> 00:57:23,569 - Thank you, Your Highness. 939 00:57:23,569 --> 00:57:27,031 - Your comedy routine was excellent, 940 00:57:27,031 --> 00:57:31,452 and your emu impersonation skills are even better. 941 00:57:32,995 --> 00:57:34,372 - What do you mean? 942 00:57:34,372 --> 00:57:39,043 - That outfit doesn't fool me for a second, my dear. 943 00:57:39,043 --> 00:57:41,754 You can take off that ridiculous costume. 944 00:57:43,089 --> 00:57:45,716 (tense music) 945 00:57:50,012 --> 00:57:55,184 Don't look so scared. I know your plan. 946 00:57:55,184 --> 00:57:58,145 You came here to try and seduce me. 947 00:57:59,313 --> 00:58:01,774 Let's make a deal. 948 00:58:01,774 --> 00:58:05,486 If you can pleasure my royal cloaca, 949 00:58:07,321 --> 00:58:09,073 I'll let you live. 950 00:58:21,210 --> 00:58:24,755 (tense percussive music) 951 00:58:27,842 --> 00:58:30,428 Oh, crap. Yes! 952 00:58:31,554 --> 00:58:32,430 Oh, crap. 953 00:58:32,430 --> 00:58:34,056 Oh, crap. Oh, crap. 954 00:58:36,392 --> 00:58:37,643 (Emu Queen moaning in pleasure) 955 00:58:37,643 --> 00:58:39,311 Oh, crap. Oh, crap! 956 00:58:43,524 --> 00:58:47,319 (groans in pain) (gas hissing) 957 00:58:47,319 --> 00:58:48,696 A cyanide tooth! 958 00:58:50,364 --> 00:58:52,283 You've killed us both! 959 00:59:00,750 --> 00:59:02,918 (groans) 960 00:59:15,556 --> 00:59:18,059 - Beautiful night for a swim. 961 00:59:32,031 --> 00:59:35,701 Harold, you really are the prime minister. 962 00:59:41,582 --> 00:59:44,418 (sinister music) 963 00:59:54,678 --> 00:59:57,348 (horn honking) 964 01:00:14,657 --> 01:00:15,950 - Mummy? Mummy! 965 01:00:18,953 --> 01:00:19,829 Mum. 966 01:00:21,497 --> 01:00:22,331 Mama, no. 967 01:00:29,088 --> 01:00:30,464 I'll get them, mama. 968 01:00:32,258 --> 01:00:37,471 Tomorrow, every human on that battlefield will die. 969 01:00:41,475 --> 01:00:44,311 (dramatic music) 970 01:00:55,364 --> 01:00:57,783 (screaming) 971 01:01:02,246 --> 01:01:06,083 (dramatic music continuing) 972 01:01:13,007 --> 01:01:16,051 (melancholy music) 973 01:01:24,977 --> 01:01:25,936 - This is suicide. 974 01:01:27,771 --> 01:01:30,983 (dynamic rock music) 975 01:01:45,623 --> 01:01:49,084 (female fighter grunts) 976 01:01:52,254 --> 01:01:55,341 Viper and the Black Python Secret Action Squad. 977 01:01:55,341 --> 01:01:57,468 - You didn't think we'd let you start this party without us, 978 01:01:57,468 --> 01:02:00,429 did you? - You son of a bitch. 979 01:02:00,429 --> 01:02:02,723 - It's good to see you, old friend. 980 01:02:02,723 --> 01:02:05,768 (intense rock music) - Right. 981 01:02:05,768 --> 01:02:07,561 Soldiers, we may not have the weapons 982 01:02:07,561 --> 01:02:09,772 or the manpower to defeat these enemies, 983 01:02:09,772 --> 01:02:11,315 but you know what we do have? 984 01:02:13,025 --> 01:02:14,485 Aussie spirit. 985 01:02:16,654 --> 01:02:19,031 You tell me another country 986 01:02:19,031 --> 01:02:22,618 where mates can have a beer and a laugh as mates. 987 01:02:23,619 --> 01:02:24,912 You can't, can you? 988 01:02:26,997 --> 01:02:28,249 - He's right about that. 989 01:02:29,208 --> 01:02:32,127 - But here's a question you need to ask your mate. 990 01:02:33,295 --> 01:02:35,381 Are we gonna let these emus control us? 991 01:02:36,590 --> 01:02:39,635 Are we gonna let 'em steal our grain? No! 992 01:02:39,635 --> 01:02:43,555 We're gonna fight back. We're gonna take our country back. 993 01:02:43,555 --> 01:02:45,766 And you know how we're gonna do it? 994 01:02:47,017 --> 01:02:48,769 With a bit of Aussie ripper spirit. 995 01:02:50,521 --> 01:02:52,773 - [Soldiers] Yeah! 996 01:02:52,773 --> 01:02:54,233 - Come on! - Yeah! 997 01:02:58,946 --> 01:03:03,158 - Oh shit. Look. - Yeah! 998 01:03:03,158 --> 01:03:07,288 - Humans, I have your prime minister. 999 01:03:07,288 --> 01:03:10,040 Surrender now or he dies. 1000 01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:12,293 - Oh God. Surrender, please. 1001 01:03:12,293 --> 01:03:14,295 Surrender, please. 1002 01:03:14,295 --> 01:03:15,421 Please, guys, surrender. 1003 01:03:15,421 --> 01:03:19,091 He's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill me. 1004 01:03:19,091 --> 01:03:21,510 - Is there anything we can do to help him? 1005 01:03:21,510 --> 01:03:24,388 -Afraid not. We can't negotiate with the enemy. 1006 01:03:24,388 --> 01:03:26,181 - Please surrender! Surrender! 1007 01:03:26,265 --> 01:03:27,975 I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die. 1008 01:03:27,975 --> 01:03:30,144 And I'm just a little boy. 1009 01:03:30,144 --> 01:03:32,354 I'm just a little boy. I'm a baby boy. 1010 01:03:33,230 --> 01:03:35,232 Please don't kill a baby boy. 1011 01:03:35,232 --> 01:03:37,860 You wanna kill a baby boy? 1012 01:03:37,860 --> 01:03:39,069 Don't kill a baby boy. 1013 01:03:39,069 --> 01:03:41,113 You'll be a baby boy killer. 1014 01:03:41,113 --> 01:03:43,073 Please don't. Don't. 1015 01:03:43,073 --> 01:03:44,241 No. Oh God! 1016 01:03:44,241 --> 01:03:45,909 I'm gonna piss. I'm pissing. 1017 01:03:45,909 --> 01:03:47,119 Oh God. I'm pissing. 1018 01:03:47,119 --> 01:03:49,872 I'm pissing, shitting and cumming myself to death! 1019 01:03:50,748 --> 01:03:52,374 (farting loudly) 1020 01:03:52,374 --> 01:03:54,668 (screams) 1021 01:04:07,556 --> 01:04:09,641 (stirring music) 1022 01:04:09,641 --> 01:04:10,517 - For the Queen! 1023 01:04:12,561 --> 01:04:16,190 (emus squawking) 1024 01:04:16,190 --> 01:04:17,024 - Charge! 1025 01:04:17,024 --> 01:04:17,900 - [Soldiers] Charge! 1026 01:04:17,900 --> 01:04:23,113 (dramatic music) (soldiers yelling) 1027 01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:37,044 - How do you like your emus, Tank? 1028 01:04:37,044 --> 01:04:38,212 Medium, rare... 1029 01:04:40,506 --> 01:04:43,884 (soldiers yelling) 1030 01:04:43,884 --> 01:04:45,094 Or well done? 1031 01:04:45,094 --> 01:04:48,305 (dynamic rock music) 1032 01:04:50,057 --> 01:04:52,976 (bombs exploding) 1033 01:04:55,562 --> 01:04:58,524 (emus screeching) 1034 01:05:04,905 --> 01:05:07,491 (guns firing) 1035 01:05:15,999 --> 01:05:18,085 - Use your Asperger's, bruv! 1036 01:05:18,085 --> 01:05:23,298 - Oh yeah. (humming) 1037 01:05:32,724 --> 01:05:35,477 I'm all outta juice. Use your culture. 1038 01:05:36,395 --> 01:05:40,566 (dynamic rock music continuing) 1039 01:05:43,652 --> 01:05:46,071 (emus screeching) 1040 01:05:46,071 --> 01:05:47,197 - Yeah. Whoa! 1041 01:05:48,282 --> 01:05:53,162 Yeah! Woo! 1042 01:05:53,162 --> 01:05:56,248 I love you, mate. Best friends forever. 1043 01:05:56,248 --> 01:05:57,332 - Love you too, bruv. 1044 01:05:59,042 --> 01:06:02,004 (heart crackling) 1045 01:06:06,467 --> 01:06:09,344 (emus exploding) 1046 01:06:12,556 --> 01:06:15,976 (intense rock music) 1047 01:06:15,976 --> 01:06:21,148 (scope beeping) (gunshot firing) 1048 01:06:27,404 --> 01:06:28,280 (melancholy music) 1049 01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:29,573 - You're a very lucky man, Major. 1050 01:06:29,573 --> 01:06:33,660 You suffered a near fatal case of father-daughter betrayal, 1051 01:06:33,660 --> 01:06:36,997 causing you to have a heart attack and cry tears of blood. 1052 01:06:39,082 --> 01:06:42,711 - I'm sorry, dad, I didn't mean to lie to you. 1053 01:06:43,795 --> 01:06:45,797 - You've done enough. Leave me be. 1054 01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:47,758 - Please. 1055 01:06:47,758 --> 01:06:50,511 I have something really important I need to tell you. 1056 01:06:51,470 --> 01:06:53,764 It's actually about Graham. 1057 01:06:53,764 --> 01:06:56,350 - No more major surprises, Major. 1058 01:06:56,350 --> 01:06:59,102 Especially ones involving your children. 1059 01:06:59,102 --> 01:07:00,812 One more shock to the system 1060 01:07:00,812 --> 01:07:02,856 would almost certainly be fatal. 1061 01:07:05,567 --> 01:07:07,611 - Well, that's not gonna be an issue. 1062 01:07:07,611 --> 01:07:11,365 My son died as a boy and my daughter's dead to me now. 1063 01:07:13,075 --> 01:07:14,117 - I wish you had room in your heart 1064 01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:16,453 for something other than your hatred of emus. 1065 01:07:24,670 --> 01:07:25,963 (gunshot firing) 1066 01:07:25,963 --> 01:07:28,674 - How many emus is that you've killed today, Viper? 1067 01:07:28,674 --> 01:07:30,217 -About 350, Major. 1068 01:07:30,217 --> 01:07:32,302 - About the same number of Nazis you killed 1069 01:07:32,302 --> 01:07:34,054 that day we won Gallipoli, isn't it? 1070 01:07:34,054 --> 01:07:34,930 - Sure is. 1071 01:07:34,930 --> 01:07:38,559 And the same number of women who gave me a blowy that night. 1072 01:07:38,559 --> 01:07:42,354 - (laughing) Mate, you crack me up. 1073 01:07:42,354 --> 01:07:43,855 You're my oldest and dearest friend 1074 01:07:43,855 --> 01:07:46,858 and the greatest war hero Australia's ever known. 1075 01:07:46,942 --> 01:07:48,986 - Well, like I always say, Major... 1076 01:07:52,364 --> 01:07:55,200 (dramatic music) 1077 01:07:57,786 --> 01:08:01,832 - Major Meredith. - Emu Boy. 1078 01:08:01,832 --> 01:08:04,418 (tense music) 1079 01:08:10,007 --> 01:08:12,634 (scope beeping) 1080 01:08:12,634 --> 01:08:15,095 - Oh my god. Dad and Emu Boy. 1081 01:08:16,763 --> 01:08:18,015 I've gotta do something. 1082 01:08:23,729 --> 01:08:24,605 (intense music) 1083 01:08:24,605 --> 01:08:25,480 - What is wrong with you? 1084 01:08:25,480 --> 01:08:28,108 You're a traitor to your species. 1085 01:08:28,108 --> 01:08:32,654 - Humans are scum. Emus take care of their young. 1086 01:08:32,654 --> 01:08:35,741 Unlike humans that abandon their children. 1087 01:08:40,454 --> 01:08:42,039 - Abandon their children? 1088 01:08:42,039 --> 01:08:44,791 The emus stole my son when he was eight. 1089 01:08:44,791 --> 01:08:48,629 - My parents abandoned me when I was eight. 1090 01:08:48,629 --> 01:08:51,506 And the emus took care of me. 1091 01:08:55,886 --> 01:08:56,762 - Graham? 1092 01:09:01,975 --> 01:09:03,352 - Daddle-doodle? 1093 01:09:05,062 --> 01:09:10,275 Oh. 1094 01:09:11,401 --> 01:09:15,155 (Major yells in a distorted voice) 1095 01:09:15,155 --> 01:09:16,865 (gun firing) 1096 01:09:16,865 --> 01:09:19,409 (rifle firing) 1097 01:09:19,409 --> 01:09:22,788 (intense choral music) 1098 01:09:31,797 --> 01:09:35,384 (Major Meredith sobbing) 1099 01:09:44,601 --> 01:09:45,852 - Eh, bet you didn't think 1100 01:09:45,852 --> 01:09:49,856 the Australian army could afford a helicopter. 1101 01:10:00,575 --> 01:10:02,828 (shrieks) 1102 01:10:04,496 --> 01:10:07,874 (helicopter exploding) 1103 01:10:15,006 --> 01:10:18,802 (soldiers groaning in pain) 1104 01:10:23,515 --> 01:10:26,226 (sombre music) 1105 01:10:34,401 --> 01:10:38,238 (Archie and Jackie yelling) 1106 01:10:44,411 --> 01:10:48,331 - If you're a cockatoo, then I am too. 1107 01:10:48,331 --> 01:10:51,293 Everybody sing Aussie croc-a-doo. 1108 01:10:51,293 --> 01:10:54,671 We're gonna rock this billy till it sings for you. 1109 01:10:55,589 --> 01:10:58,341 Rock-a-doodle, Aussie true blue. 1110 01:11:01,720 --> 01:11:04,681 (emotional music) 1111 01:11:36,087 --> 01:11:40,008 (emotional music continuing) 1112 01:12:15,794 --> 01:12:19,631 (solemn ending theme music) 1113 01:14:01,983 --> 01:14:05,111 (upbeat rock music) 1114 01:14:45,902 --> 01:14:47,529 ♪ Two big boys ♪ 1115 01:14:47,529 --> 01:14:49,614 ♪ We're the best of friends ♪ 1116 01:14:49,614 --> 01:14:51,825 ♪ With two big boys ♪ 1117 01:14:51,825 --> 01:14:53,910 ♪ Our friendship never ends ♪ 1118 01:14:53,910 --> 01:14:55,662 ♪ We're two big boys ♪ 1119 01:14:55,662 --> 01:14:58,707 ♪ And the best of friends ♪ 1120 01:14:58,707 --> 01:14:59,874 ♪ Two big boys ♪ 1121 01:14:59,874 --> 01:15:03,336 ♪ Our friendship never ends ♪ 1122 01:15:03,336 --> 01:15:06,548 ♪ Yeah, two big boys ♪